Monday, July 24, 2017

After two weeks

Pardon me; I have skipped two weeks to update my blog. It would be very unreasonable to say that I was too busy. Actually, I was stressed out for the past two weeks. The former week I slacked off for the entire week because my childhood friends were here. I was stressed because I wasn’t doing much productive works and the later week I stressed out because I kept thinking about how I shouldn’t have wasted my entire week.  LOL.

For those of you, who read my posts which didn’t give you any new information but rather you had to bear with my personal nonsense stuffs for this long, I would like to thank you once again. The mere fact that somebody out there is reading and my voice is being heard especially on my rough days helps me to keep going.

Anyway I am here with news. I have decided to incorporate any information that might be useful to you guys reading and so my posts will be personal yet quite informative.For today I am going to give out some information on violence against children in Bhutan as I am currently working on this project for which I have collaborated with UNICEF.

No, it isn’t a very complicated subject. Violence against children in Bhutan is discussed in three aspects, the emotional, sexual and physical violence. As I was reading the comprehensive research, I could read between the lines and could totally relate to what the children meant when they stated about little things. As I have been through that road personally, I think little things matter when you are growing up. So for this reason, I have decided to have a cinematic approach to this episode and hence I have looked for characters to portray the forms of violence stated above.

On the other end, I am not a huge fan of heavy metal and the suicide of Chester didn’t really affect me as it did to my friends. What bothered me was his interview when he so openly discuss about his internal battles and the fact that he tried so hard to describe the neighborhood in his head.

I felt like we could connect that way.

I mean it’s usually very hard to tell people how we feel about ourselves when we are not feeling so well and that ‘neighborhood’ is surely a dangerous place.  The two Chesters, one pushing down, confused and the fact that you have money and everything people consider as means of happiness don’t help and that’s exactly what Chester was shown saying. 

And it’s the same with me. 

Not that I am anywhere near him but still. Life is as I want it to be. I have a job I always dreamt about. I have been showered with my dreams to travel the world. I have people I love and basically my life is on track but sometimes I feel so bored. I don’t see any reason why I should strive for those things because at the end we all are going to leave this world.

Anyway like always, just a random thought and no I don’t need help. Haha. I am very busy these days to think about committing suicide and I don’t want to miss my Denmark trip.

But I still have a question. If speaking  out doesn’t help fight depression, what will? 

Tuesday, July 4, 2017

Random weekly update

It's already Tuesday and I had committed to update my blog very Monday but this is me. Very forgetful.

Yesterday was a public holiday here in Bhutan. I went to hike up to Tandi Nye. I have also resorted to hike often and spend more time with nature and of course with good friends. My friend suggested we take a cab but we resorted to my decision to walk. I have also started to walk more. It helps me sleep well.

Today has been a long day. I am almost done with my project on the LGBT+ community in Bhutan. I am pretty nervous about how my audience will rate this program. I showed few of my friends while it was still in rough cuts and they seemed to like it. Thank you to Kim, an Australian film maker who is guiding me. He told me to look for elements that surprised me and it was obvious to keep my audience glued to the program. I am learning and growing everyday as a documentary maker.

On the other end, I am struggling to complete an essay a Korean magazine wanted from Bhutan. I am writing on Bomena, the night hunting culture in Bhutan. I will share on my blog once they publish it.

And on a lighter note, I am not forgetting to be content with my own company. I have started to focus more than ever to improve myself in every aspect.

And I am learning to forgive people who are gone and more than this, I am still learning to let go. I know I will be there someday.

Thank you for reading. It sure made me feel lighter.

Monday, June 26, 2017

Wavin' the White Flag

I am updating my blog after a long time. If you are on this page, I would sincerely like to thank you for taking time to go through it and I promise to write one piece a week.

Today is June 27th. Last year I was so happy on this particular day and I had also decided I would celebrate my birthday on this date henceforth but my friends had the celebration done on my actual birthday months before. One of the reasons I didn’t want to celebrate on my actual date was because I cried for three consecutive birthdays and decided that date wasn’t meant for me.

Anyway, I am not here to write about my birthdays and stuffs. As you can see, the title of this article is “Wavin’ the white Flag” so I am here to write something about it.

When I was in 7th standard, Dido and her song White Flag was my favorite. Since we didn’t have technologies like today, I remember me and my friends had written down the lyrics and memorized for months until we were close to perfect. Our teachers always recommended books or songs to improve our vocabulary back then and this song did good to me. I knew thereafter what white flag meant.

The phrase ‘Wavin’ the white flag’ and I have a very serious relationship. It’s very intense. I just hope I never have to encounter this. Never.

How would you feel if the other person use some fancy phrase and tells you to Google for its meaning? Or worst what if the other person is someone very close to you?. It occurred to me.

It’s been months after this incident but I still feel a sharp pain in my stomach whenever I think about it. Not because I felt insulted but because he was supposed to be the very person who had known me as a person who questioned a lot if I was in doubt and didn’t think for a second that he would make me feel very very low.

My journey in letting go started from there, I guess. When I take alone time to think about why I shouldn’t be that pathetic faithful girlfriend, my mind synchronize all the bad memories and this particular memory stands first.

Thursday, October 20, 2016


 AAALL IS WELL. A personality we thought was impossible to see in person made his maiden visit to our country. This is not the first time an international actor has visited our beautiful land. However, there is something different this time. He came not with the brand of an actor on holiday but as UNICEF South Asia’s goodwill Ambassador.

While he came with a cause, countless Bhutanese fans eagerly waited for an opportunity to meet him. For an actor rarely making his appearance in the public, expecting his presence among us at large seemed a vague possibility.

As you may call it a luck, Aamir was scheduled for an hour long conversation with young people belonging to various youth group at the Department of Youth and Sports (DYS) which happened to be his first session in the country and because the setting was cozy, it added to our (fan) advantage to see him up-close. I had never seen a crowd in Bhutan before as such. For me to be able to picturesque in writing, I had only seen such in Korean dramas where fans go crazy, literally.
I can't really put in writing the atmosphere in the hall when Aamir entered except that we were told to maintain silence but the crowd roared. After few protocols, he started the session and the entire hour consisted of Q&A.  No, the topic did not range to child stunting and the importance of breast feeding as I had expected. It was rather our chance to know him personally. It was nice.

It began with a question from a girl in the audience on the emergence of Bollywood in terms of portraying women where he talked about his latest film  Dangal. The film he said is based on true story about a man who remains unsuccessful in his dream to win gold in wrestling. Hoping to achieve it through his son, he ends up bearing four daughters and it is then he starts training his girls for his dream.

I have always thought there's got to be one thing among many aspects in a film that he looks into before committing to it. Aamir also touched on this while he encouraged us to do things we love and said chances are we will be good at it as in Success ke peeche mat bhago. Kabil bano kabil. Kambyabi sali jhak maar ke peeche ayegi. He shared with the crowed that he never does a film in the hope for it to be a blockbuster. Instead he said he should be able to connect to the character he is to play. He should feel him.

When a teacher touched on education talking about whether we were doing enough with textbooks limited teaching and learning relating to Taare Zameen Par,  Aamir said living in the digital age, answer to every question is just a click away. He said as a child he was never interested in studies and he completed only plus 12. It was only after he dropped that he was interested to learn and so he read, on many subjects. While he talked on it, he said it in manner where I felt I was watching a LIVE scene from Taree Zamin Par as he said we all have different learning abilities and those who are faster should not force those who aren't to catch their speed.

Did you know he was a state champion in tennis as a young boy?  With this Aamir also talked about his mother from whom he learned empathy. He shared incidences where he would come home winning matches and his mother would bring him tea and talk to him and ask about his game. His response would mostly be positive but his mother would worry about the little boy (his opponent) someone she would not even know the name. Aamir tells us it was such a thing for his mother to be able to feel for another unknown person and how this trait is important as a human being.

There were many other discussions being done touching on his life and more to his films which the crowd thoroughly enjoyed. There were more to be asked but the hour flew by in no time and came to an end. While everyone wanted to take a picture with him, he suggested he would make rounds in the crowd and do it. He requested the crowd to cooperate or else his men in black would take him away. He randomly joined the groups and took pictures until all were included. Before leaving, he told us that this was the first successful group pictures ever taken with countless others being an epic fail wherever he suggested the idea.

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

A delightful note

Mr. Naren Dubay, the CEO of Scan Cafe has always been one of the few people who makes learners like us grow years in months. Setting up one of the largest company to employ the youth, scan cafe to this day provides work for about 700 Bhutanese.

Apart from work, he has always reminded us the luxury we Bhutanese have in Bhutan abided by the concept of GNH.  Learning is a never ending journey and I am thankful to have come across him.

"You guys live in heaven! (and some of you may not realize it)'
This is what he wrote to all of us after he left the country. No, it wasn't his first visit to Bhutan. After setting up Scan Cafe few years ago, he makes frequent visit to Bhutan.
Home is where the heart is and I am personally glad that Mr. Naren feels at home in Bhutan.

Saturday, June 25, 2016

Writing for pleasure

She told him she would love him and curse him the same. How can that be? It had made her too confused, confused of two feelings  lumping  at the same rate for a single person.

That's because he too had said, she would be his sweet and miserable memory is all. And that she would always have a place in his heart and mind but not in his life.

They were two person wishing they had not met because once they did, their life changed forever.
Before he met her,  he never thought he would be capable of loving a girl so hard because he had created a world where only he existed with an exception of few of his friends and family. His invited very few people in his circle.

She on the other end never thought she would one day receive love that she had not known of because she was deprived of every love, even her parent's.

Two people having a complete different notion on life, love and future met on a journey they thought they would travel together but not having known that the roads were bumpy.

Or maybe things happened for good. if they had been together they might have argued all day and night for unknown reasons. They did. Arguments were pointless.

But if things had worked out, he would have been the bread earner of the family and she a home maker. 
Was destiny playing fair on them?

I secretly dream to own a Novel and it would expand from this.

Friday, June 24, 2016


There was a session at the end of the book where several questions were asked to the readers. I have done my part reviewing it through one of the question.

Will’s right to die, and Lou’s determination to change his mind about exercising that right, is a theme that runs throughout the novel. How did you feel about Will’s decision at the end? Was it what you expected? Do you think the novel should have ended differently?

I have been telling myself I should not hover over too sentimental love stories written through some people's imagination. And the writer Jojo Moyes admits she isn't romantic in her real life. Whatever maybe the case, the story has left me pondering over and over again of their lives and believe me or not I have created my Will and Lou within my thoughts. They have started to exist and thank god, the movie is now out and I might go for it to get a proper sight of the story. Hope the movie will do justice to how beautiful the story is in the book.

Will's had my heart from the very beginning he was introduced. Characters like him make my expectations grow because the fact that I don't see him literally and I have liked him for the kind of person he is makes me want to go look for Will if a man like him ever exist and I don't mind being as stupid as Lou.

Well, from the point of Lou's entry, there never been a chapter where I saw Will withdrawing from his decision to die for good. I have known every bits of him and I didn't think of him as giving up his already made up mind. For this, I saluted him at the end.

Some people might think he is too selfish to have stirred Lou's heart and then leave her like she herself thought but I knew like I was Will's friend that he was not someone to have Lou sacrifice her entire life for him knowing she was capable of much more.

You see, great love stories do not always end on a happy note. Sometimes it's about growth. It's about how deeply you felt and how deeply it left a mark on you, memories so full it could last for  a lifetime. I wasn't cursing Will for his decision. I wasn't wondering how Lou might have lived thereafter.

                  Some stories connect us and we know things happened for a reason.