DECHEN AND DORJI (Episode 1)

People are different. Can't deny the fact. We are different not just physically but there are million other indescribable personalities within us which makes every person to perceive things in a different way.  There are days when I am unable to figure out the kind of person I am. It's very difficult to come to a definite conclusion.

We live in a world of interdependence and where interactions of humans are involved, I feel that we have to take out time to reflect upon ourselves of how we as an individual have impact on other people's life.

I have a story, a very short one indeed.

Setting : Bhutan, 1980

Dechen and Dorji were childhood sweethearts. Their houses were separated by a river. There hadn't been a day where they did not see each other and the bridge which connected them was their meeting place.

One unfortunate day, the river washed away the bridge and this shattered both Dechen and Dorji. With no other means to connect them, they made a point to wave at each other every other day across the river.

After a long time, Dorji stopped coming and Dechen at first assumed of him encountering an avoidable circumstance. This went on until Dechen started to worry. She went on looking for solutions until one came into her mind.

Tashi was the wealthiest man in her village and the only person who owned a boat. Dechen went to request  him despite knowing that he was the most cunning person and a man who decided everything on a special return. Dechen requested him to have her plea accepted for which she was ready to give him anything he demanded.   

The demand did not range to money or wealth but he asked her to spent a night with him. Shocked, Dechen shouted at him and went to her best friend, Seday to seek some advice and share her grief. Seday on the other hand told her she can't say anything right away and  Dechen was invited for a meeting where all the villagers would be present.

Confused Dechen had no other option than to accept the dirty demand and cross the river to meet her lover. She accepts Tashi's offer and the next morning she is on the other part of the village. Dechen's excitement to see Dorji is immeasurable. She directly goes to Dorji's place and upon knocking his door, Dorji opens up the door looking exhausted and sick.

Dorji is astonished and questions of her arrival. Dechen is too innocent to lie and tells him that she had to spent a night with Tashi to be there. At this moment, Dorji do not listen to her second explanations and right away blame her for always making excuses when he had proposed for a night even though they had been together since childhood.

Dechen is shattered and cries hard. On her way back, she meets her brother Phuntsho. He is so furious after hearing to Dechen. He firstly go to the sailor, Tashi and punch him hard. Next, he goes to Dorji and does the same.

                                                                                 The end.

THE CRY - part 1

My pride in being a Bhutanese range to many aspects.  At this age, I don't think I have more room for growth. Meaning I am sure I am able to differentiate between what is good and what isn't. I would specifically like to reflect my pride in being born into this beautiful country and as a Buddhist.  Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to stress that we are the best because that would be a lie. No human is perfect.

However, we are one molded by Gross National Happiness. Too small a country, I know to be focused on individual happiness rather than country's growth but what's the point of working hard for a motherland if she do not provide a safe home.

My pride lies in us having a big heart. Not only the people but our dogs (stray), they are healthy. This is one parameter I consider among many for measuring this "big" heart. We believe in interconnectedness and for this very reason we have fear of everything having a meaning to our lives. This benefits in promoting a harmonious society.

Most importantly, we have Driglam Namzha and the etiquette far outweigh one's attitude. if one is provided a job, attitude matters . Every elders have advised us to be zab toh toh.

Dear foreigners (not all),  there may be a thousand criticism, we accept, smiling because refuting is not in our blood. If you set up your work here, you can't bring in your doings with you. Instead you should blend with the host. In the name of country's growth, you can't make our people fall.

More to this, if situation permits.

LUCY

While the children played in innocence  they discovered two puppies trapped in the traditional basement of a Bhutanese structure.  No hesitation, went off and brought them into an open air. The children cuddled with them. They  were good looking pups but they were among thousands of other stray dogs in Bhutan.  Two of the girls decided to take them home, their second voices warning them of their mother's disapproval.

It should now be a proven fact that they really were beautiful because their family accepted to keep the pups as their pet.  Now we can't talk about both the dogs because I know only of one, the one which my family kept. I named her Lucy.

Lucy grew up to be more beautiful and a friendly dog. I am sorry I am right only on the beautiful part. She was friendly only towards me. However, she was aggressive to every new person or other dog she encountered. However, that did not bother me. I adored her the same. Never mind, a close family friend of ours envied Lucy and for some unknown reasons, they blended quite well.

It was one summer when Lucy was a year old and I went off for vacation at my grandparents.  It's unthinkable how I missed her while we were that was maybe I cared for her like my baby. I ain't a mother but I guess the feeling is something like that?

I will give you, my readers a moment to visualize my reunion with Lucy.  When I went back, Lucy came jumping and licking my face and I gave her a pat to know her I understood. That's a beautiful visual treat right? But that did not happen. Lucy wasn't there.

I threw hundreds of questions to my mother  to have one answered. Lucy had bitten a man and because our home was located in the prime area, we could no more keep him. He now stayed at our family friend's place with whom Lucy connected ever since.

No, that's not fair. I thought Lucy deserved a punishment for biting the poor man but  there's more to it. I ran all three kilometers and demanded Lucy to come out of that house. There he was, his tail wagging. I did not mind seeking the people their approval to take Lucy because she was never theirs in the first place.

Actually Lucy was never meant to be with us, my family I guess. Few days later, she vanished, nowhere to be seen.  

                                                                                   ***

It's a hot summer day here in Thimphu. I am lethargic of the heat and the heat inside the car is unthinkable. I lazily look out the car window. The sight of Lucy hits me. No dog can be this identical but maybe they can.  "LUCY!"....  It's her. I tell my sister. "You assume too much"

we drive away.

Words are her BEST FRIEND for now

First, quit picking old wounds and going for walks in the aches and pains you already made it through–you call it healing, but it sounds like a good way to take a haunting home with you. LONELY is a no-vacancies sign for an empty room on the backside of your chest, and there will never be enough people to love that empty out of you. Love will not save you. You will save you.
 
Remember, no matter how much you need a voice at the other end of the line who only wants to take care of you, it is a felony to call 911 just because you need someone to talk to. You cannot shrink to radio static, to heavy breath on a telephone. Your aching does not end in an ambulance.
 
Now, breathe. Yes, I know you’ve heard this one before. Do it anyway. Got ribs like the wrong side of a fistfight, yeah? That’s from the hyperventilating. Your lungs just survived a car crash inside of your body. Be gentle with them, please.
 
Find the pocket of your heartbeat where you keep forgiveness. We will try again tomorrow–I know you’ve got a bone to pick with tomorrow, but it’s coming anyway. Listen, in a few hours our little world will turn herself right-side-up again, and you will forget about all the ways this lonely night sang you watered down blues an your hands will start to make sense again.
You think you’ve seen every ugly corner of this whole rotten world, but listen: there are an infinite number of things we don’t know and, statistically speaking, at least half of them are probably very, very beautiful.

What has 21st century done to us?

Going back to the times of our fore fathers working in the field, with no idea on what the outside world was going through, life was still moving on. We, the beings of 21st century claim to be the civilized beings of all but little do we take into account what civilization has done to us. It has done good in making this world smaller and connecting almost everything to even landing on other planets but it is also doing us harm.
                                                                     ***


Why are people not paying heed to relationships and divorces? Where have the charm in marriage gone? Why have we blindfolded to what is happening in our society. Why are we always in the fear that, to live is to earn and save?

There is rarely any room left to give a second thought when people end things. A one night stand don't bother our generation while it was the basis for marriage in olden times.


Just a vague thought that came to my mind while people wait for me to render my time for them. I have more on this. Until next time.

The textile event's star

An update from textile event in Lhuentse last year which was held in commemorating the Sixtieth Birth Anniversary of His Majesty the Fourth Druk Gyalpo.

From the land of Bhutan’s renowned textile kishuthara, let me introduce you to the star of textile event, Sonam Yangzom, a nine year old girl.

It is an inevitable fact that Lhuenste is known for Bhutan’s most renowned textile kishuthara but never did our thoughts linger on someone as young as nine years old so well taking up the intricate art of weaving. It was remarkable!

Weeks before the event, PICSA received a call from Pangkhar, a village rarely heard but known for rich textiles. There was something different about the person talking on the other end. Ugyen Tshomo said she called to inquire if her daughter who is a nine years old girl can register for the event. Keeping aside her hesitation regarding the fulfilment of the criteria for registration, she told PICSA that her daughter, ever since she heard of the event in Lhuentse had been insisting her to let her participate in it. PICSA was in favour of such an enthusiastic child and moreover it was nice to hear of someone so young undertaking such task. The confirmation was hence done for her to participate.

A day before the event, there she was, Sonam Yangzom, a class three student of Pangkhar community primary school made it to the event with her mother and her younger sister. At the very first instance, she was able to leave an overwhelming impression through the way she greeted us, Kuzuzangpola ! It seemed like maturity had exceeded her age. On touring her stall, she got onto her loom and started surprising not only PICSA team but she drew the attention of many of the visitors who started murmuring because it was something they hadn’t seen before and when they did they probably didn’t believe their eyes while Sonam with concentration picked up the patterns of kishuthara which she brought to the live exhibition.

Speaking to her, our thoughts were driven away in comparing her with the children of her age especially in urban areas and elsewhere. A nine year for an instance, many of who are entirely depended upon their parents and while it was their age to demand for goodies, it was learned that Sonam Yangzom ran her family back in her village. Yes, she did. Her mother said, as a child only at the age of four, Sonam would get into the loom then and there when she knew her mother wasn’t around. At first, her mother thought it was just a child’s play and didn’t entertain her but at the age of five she was then convinced that her daughter really had the interest and determination to take up weaving and so she started teaching her.

After a year, Sonam took up weaving, her mother was surprised at the rate which she picked up the technique and wove it. When she was six, her mother recalls having sold a piece woven by her daughter at Nu. 10,000 to a tourist who happened to visit the nearby village. Ever since Sonam’s earning has helped them run the family at large.

Sonam is not only the true representation of god gifted talent and has not just proven her abilities as an excellent weaver but she is also a bright student topping her class. When asked what she aspires to become in life she confidently says, she aims to become a doctor but weaving is one thing that is woven into every fibre of her life and will always be there no matter what.

Her mother Ugyen Tshomo told us that her daughter is the second figure besides her whom she can trust to run her family. In her absence, Sonam takes up the job of handling all the household chores starting from milking the cow to taking care of her other three younger siblings. . She even supports her brother who is at Thimphu in Zorig Chusum and it is such an irony because her brother who went off with the words of supporting their family ended up being supported by his younger sister as Sonam sends him cash earned through weaving to her brother.

Having known that she made up to the event to showcase her extraordinary skills we asked her she was satisfied. As expected she further inflicted greater response by saying more than that she was happy to be a part of the event to pay tribute to His Majesty the Fourth Druk Gyalpo whom she considers as a parent and having known the core objective of the event she said there would have been no better opportunity to pay her respect to the dynamic Monarch.

Sonam Yangzom is an example to all the younger generations as the forces of modernization sweeps away the age old tradition and for this recognition, she was awarded the certificate of appreciation for being the youngest weaver at the event and also to encourage more young girls to take up weaving. Her childhood may be gone astray but in her sparkling eyes, one can definitely see those dreams of wanting to become someone and she constantly looks forward for a platform. PICSA promised her one.

That one thing !

Ten years ago, Kesang left everything behind and headed to the city of dreams, the United States of America. With a concrete plan in his mind he went off with a dream to earn Nu. 5 lakhs. He had everything set of to what he would do with the targeted sum he were to earn. He initially planned to work only for three years and come back home to make something out of himself.

This year, it is his tenth year at New York and he gives himself a laugh on recalling his dreams during the initial stages of his stay at the city. He notes life can’t always move on the pace as we want it to and just like he is still stuck there, at times our destiny seems pointless to where it is headed.

Money, Kesang believes should not be the ultimate goal because the more we earn, the more we spend. There is a point to be noted. Having started his career from scratch in what seemed like an alien land when he first put his foot away from his village at Trashigang, Kesang started off as a butler. With days added onto make years, today he is one of the manager at a five star hotel in the food and beverages department. Kesang currently lives in the Bahamas and has plans to return to Bhutan but with no idea when, he responds with the term ‘soon’

Let us now move onto another common destination for the Bhutanese, Australia. It has become a trend in our society for one to say that they are leaving for Australia and with their repeated statement, Australia now seem like a next door neighbor. Not to forget social media has been a powerful weapon to make this world a global village.

Sonam (name changed for confidentiality) like many other in our society left her profession as a teacher in Bhutan because with many mouths to feed, her income was not able to support her large family. The visa approval to Australia for her master’s degree mustered in her the idea that things were going to change at home with the powerful currency she believed she was going to earn. The wings of the dragon reached her many miles away from home and it was the days that followed made her realize leaving abroad with a dream comes with a price. Desperate to give the curious ears at home a positive answer, Sonam says she went door to door looking for a job and that in a way was no less than a beggar one often come to us in desperate need for some pennies.

On the contrary there are some people placing their roots and for them they seldom have the thought to come back home. What more do we need in this universe than a family beside you. Tshering, who is a photographer lives happily at New York City with whole of his family. Home is where the heart is and though he claims to miss the aura of a homeland he has well-adjusted to a place which has provided shelter for him and his family.

There is no such thing as the majority of us living here and gaining the ultimate pursuit of happiness against many others scattered around the world or to term them the minorities because we are bonded by one common thing. That one thing is ‘culture’. 

You may have to go for the food there but your taste buds will always dance to the tune of the home food. You may think you are used to foreign languages but an unexpected hear of your mother tongue will always make you wear a genuine smile. You may think you will not fit in their land with your traditional attire but you will be eagerly waiting for occasions when you can proudly and comfortably wear your traditional clothes. And finally you may get attracted to people from their land but deep within you are still looking and hoping for that someone special from home because you share the same emotions.

While Kesang spends his leisure time in the embraces of the beautiful beach at Bahamas, he also awkwardly confesses he would like to be able to share such moments with someone from home. As for Sonam, she suffered quite a hurdle but her first year of stay in Australia not only helped her clear off her debts but she has some savings too. Tshering is one of the most active social network users and if one is to claim a positive bloggers he sure is. His active updates on life away at the other part of the world and the endless support he renders for national events at home wants us to applaud him for such spirits.

For Bhutanese, our society has always been intact and when one suffer the other cry and vice versa. Whether one feeds themselves on the grass at home or depends on the foreign land, we will always share that bond and that pride in being the sons and daughters of Palden Drukpa and it is this spirit that makes it easier for other races to discover we are from the land of Happiness, from the GNH country.